First things first. You can’t. We tried.

The problem is everyone’s definition of the perfect pumpkin is different, but we had fun trying.

Local 3’s Paul Shahen visited Weaver Tree Farm Pumpkin Stand on Signal Mountain Road. You know, the stand with the 20 plus foot tall inflatable pumpkin. Yeah, that one.

John Weaver with Weaver Tree Farm has been selling pumpkins and fall decor at that location for almost a decade. He’s also been selling Christmas trees there for nearly four decades.